People that know Linda say they are frustrated that she just doesn't just kick out her abuser or take her children and leave. Sounds simple enough....
But wait, let's think about this for a minute. Her abuser has been working his plan to control her for years - he's already convinced her that she's fat and ugly and worthless. Now he's physically beating it into her.
I did volunteer work at a Battered Women's Shelter several years back. We were trained to recognize the various stages in the Cycle of Violence. We had several of the same women & children come back over and over because they couldn't get out of the Cycle. They were so convinced that they were worthless - it had been literally pounded into them by their abusers. We did everything we could to help them gain some pride in themselves, and it was always so devastating when we'd hear that one of our ladies and/or her kids was lured back and murdered. IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE DAY.
On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. http://endabuse.org/resources/facts/
Well, "She should call the police or just leave!"you say. If she calls the police she's afraid it will make him angrier. If she leaves him, he'll ceaselessly and mercilessly track her down at work or school or at the babysitter. He'll "lure" her into believing he has changed, he "needs" her, misses her and the children, he loves her, etc. She's weak from being battered, she'll cave again, the Cycle continues, then one day he'll lose it. IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Linda is mentally and physically abused and I can see the fear in her eyes. She tells me she wants to get away from him, but doesn't want to give up everything (this is the perfect time to take action because she's thinking hard about it). You can really tell a woman is down when she knows her own children are being hurt but can't find the strength to get away. We can listen to her, let her cry on our shoulders, and support her, but someone has got to give this girl a boot in the right direction or one day we could lose her! She's right on the verge of leaving and needs a firm but gentle push from her friends.
I'm setting up a time to visit a local Center to talk about a plan to help Linda and see if there are other friends or family that may want to help.
If you know someone who is being abused, find a safe home for them and give them a push in the SAFE direction. Go online to the Family Violence Prevention Fund (www.endabuse.org) and click on the "Resources" tab at the top of the page, then "Get Help". This will help you locate a shelter in your area. You can also call (800) 799-SAFE to find out how to contact a family violence program in your area.
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